What about tomorrow?

How do I do it right?  What if I do it wrong?

For some, these words motivate for growth.  For me, they slam shut a door I rarely give myself a chance to open.

Playing music makes me feel whole.  Playing music with others makes me feel human and real.  Working to help others makes me feel decent.  Working with others to help the world makes me feel hope for humanity.  But sometimes I get stuck. I know these truths and I still get stuck in worrying I will not get it right.

Today I went to church.  I sat in a packed sanctuary listening to our church leaders rally us for the work ahead, today and for every day.  Gary King, an incredible musician, sang, using his voice and piano to knit our hearts together.  He nearly brought me to tears. 

Then my kids made little charity boxes to raise money for a national and local organization that helps those experiencing homelessness.  Was it transformative? No. Did it change someone's life? Probably not. Are we measurably closer to equality? Of course not. 

It was decent.  It gave me hope.  It was... something. 

MLK Day is not going to fix the big problem.  It is just one day.  But if it shows us that we can get started, that is no small thing.  Maybe it's the key to opening that door. Right or wrong, take action and the door opens. 

What makes you feel human?

What gives you hope?

What will we do tomorrow?

Emily GoldbergComment